watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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