I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The air was thick with penises
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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