White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
