porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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