Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
