you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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