and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
