yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
