Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize