I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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