my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
