once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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