im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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