Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
NoShamevember. You game?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
