She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
