I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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