Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
