just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
third nipple confirmed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
