also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
