My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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