You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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