It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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