Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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