I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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