I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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