You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
