if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
