the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
