Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize