Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
