hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
