She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
