is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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