she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
