Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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