I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
