if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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