im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize