you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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