My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
