This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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