Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I wear drunk well.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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