Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
