i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
