shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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