That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
