3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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