Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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