Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
