I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
