i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
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He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
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We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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