Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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