i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
