Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
