wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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