Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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