It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
