need another drink. this is the easiest way
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
