So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
do herpes really smell.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
