'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she told me i tasted like america
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
