his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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