You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
