the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
