like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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