Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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