as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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