Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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