am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize